Today was another day, also, of spending my day in McDonalds and in cafe’s for the wifi and the occasional sandwich.
Starbucks opens at 4:30 in the morning so I’ll have that to start the day tomorrow. I’m sure I won’t get much sleep, if any. Then I’ll head on to the Y for a shower to complete the wake up process. Afterwards I’ll need to get a sleeping bag and something to use as a pillow. I hate having to carry around such stuff, but I think it will be necessary for me, if I am to get any sleep on the streets. Yep, it’s time for making trade-offs – giving up things I like for things I need. I just hope that whatever I get compacts nicely so that that stuff I’m hauling around doesn’t look excessive. I hate to look like I’m homeless. I’m still not accepting it as my fate.
You know how it is when you move into a new apartment, but you’re not really happy with it, would rather be else where, and so you never unpack your stuff. That’s because you know that unpacking means that you are giving in, accepting the place as yours, and you just don’t want to do that. When you do, it’s reluctantly. I know what I need, so to be homeless, but I’m still putting it off. Maybe I’ll win the lottery this week. Maybe someone will take me in cause they’ve got a spare room, or a big back yard where they’d let me pitch a tent, or even just a patio where I could bed down during the night. … if only.