San Diego Night Life

Fuck it, I say.  Trying to sleep at night on the weekends is hazardous to my health.  So, I’m just saying up until the rowdy crowd go back home. Of course the rowdiest are always the last to leave for home, and most likely to start some shit as they go.

The majority of them usually clear out of by 2:30 am – bars are required by law to close at 2 am.

Instead of lying awake in my tent worrying about the next jackass to walk by and try something, like toss my tent over with me in it, I’ll just wait until 2:30 to head back to my camping area and set up the tent then.   If I become tired enough I should still be able to get 4 hours sleep.  That’s about all I get these days anyway.

Walking through the heart of the gaslamp district a bit after midnight, it struck me just how similar it is to the movie Blade Runner.  Of course BR was much more exotic and diverse. But the crowded streets, the revelers, the vendors, the bicycle taxis all lit up with party lights and a variety of music playing, and the cops traveling in packs for their own safety, all seems too familiar

Hell, even lower broadway in Nashville was getting that way, last I saw, just on a much smaller scale, and with less variety of music in the clubs.

It is, for the most part, a young adults scene, college aged to 20 somethings, but only the most attractive and wealthiest – still a formidably large crowd.  The ugly, the shy, and generally unfortunate, just stay home.

Oh, but what a sight it is, almost utopian, a place where everything is as near perfect as you can imagine. The perfect faces with the perfect bodies, wearing perfectly clothes to perfectly highlight their lovely endowments.  Witty and charming, everyone loves everyone.

But even those who are not so witty and intelligent, yet know how to socialize and use their looks to their selected benefit join in the festivities. Everyone is a winner  No one doubts themselves or anyone else.  Everyone is out to have a good time, and with this singularity of mind, a good time happens – at least until the bars and clubs close.

I’ve wandered down to a cigar bar.  Here, for the price of a 2 dollar cigar, I can hang out until closing, which will probably be around 1 am.  They’ve got a restoom here, something I seem to need more and more (thanks Mr Prostate).  There’s only a half dozen people in the place, so I’m not feeling too terribly anxious and can relax.  No wifi or electrical outlets, but my battery is full, and I did all my internet stuff earlier.  Actually,  I need to do less of that – Like I haven’t said that a million times before.  Big screen tvs are tuned to sports channels but the music is loud so no point trying to hear the tvs.

I still worry about the state of my SSI, I keep thinking that “they” will find some reason to deny me and I’ll be stuck without. Considering their are no regular shelters here, (they’ve all be converted to rehab centers), I don’t know how I’d survive.  I’m just not going to subject myself to some kind of bs rehab.  I have no problem with drugs, and I don’t need to be converted to a religion, I just need a place to sleep at night, off the streets.  I rack my brain for any plausible plan to generate an income for myself so I could cut my ties to the SSI.  It’s an ugly way to live, being totally dependent on someone (the government) and not knowing from one month to the next, my standing with those overlords.  They give only enough to keep me poor, and any attempt to make a little extra for myself is held against me. there really isn’t mush reason to improve myself Make an extra 100 bucks a week and I’m screwed.  I’d have to create a full living wage for myself, or just not bother.  The thing is, I have so many limitations that it would be a true miracle if I did.  (Screw all you people who say I should just try to overcome my limitations.  I’ve been working on that all my life.  The truth is a person cannot overcome things like a crooked spin, and Aspergers – these are things I was born with and I can’t just wish them away.)


About Kevin Barbieux

I have been diagnosed as being chronically homeless. I write about my experiences and opinions of being homeless
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